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07 Dec 2005

today I need some advice badly
I have this “thing” that people perceive me as being very intense – too intense. My tone of voice puts people on guard or frightens them. When I hear this I am sometimes really stunned because many a time it was not intended in that way – to top it all apparently I have this “look”. I have very green eyes so I don’t now if that contributes? (look at me trying to justify this ?)

This really bothers me. In the past I have been a people pleaser, been a push over and walked over easily, really experienced big time hurt. I had to consciously teach myself to be assertive – but now I think sometimes I am just reverting to bitchiness in order to get my message across or to protect myself, and it getting to the ones I love. And thats not on!!

Answer 379 views

01 Jan 0001

its actually not unusual that some of us find that we have an impact on other people that is different from what we intend o want --- again, a skilled psychologist using CBT and related techniques, can help one identify where this needs to change, and to help us to achieve those changes. Bitchiness is being aggressive, not assertive --- and the therapist can help you clarify what this needs to be, and how to do it
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