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07 Dec 2005

today I need some advice badly
I have this “thing” that people perceive me as being very intense – too intense. My tone of voice puts people on guard or frightens them. When I hear this I am sometimes really stunned because many a time it was not intended in that way – to top it all apparently I have this “look”. I have very green eyes so I don’t now if that contributes? (look at me trying to justify this ?)

This really bothers me. In the past I have been a people pleaser, been a push over and walked over easily, really experienced big time hurt. I had to consciously teach myself to be assertive – but now I think sometimes I am just reverting to bitchiness in order to get my message across or to protect myself, and it getting to the ones I love. And thats not on!!



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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

its actually not unusual that some of us find that we have an impact on other people that is different from what we intend o want --- again, a skilled psychologist using CBT and related techniques, can help one identify where this needs to change, and to help us to achieve those changes. Bitchiness is being aggressive, not assertive --- and the therapist can help you clarify what this needs to be, and how to do it
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