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21 Nov 2005

Toddler eating problems
I've posted the same question on DietDoc's site, but she suggested I take my child to a child psycologist. She is turning 3 in December and is overall a very happy child, but eating times have always been a battle ground with me. I work full time and she is with her wonderful nanny during the day. During the day she would eat fantastically with the nanny, but if I am to feed her she does all kinds of things to drive me up the wall. She would for instance take a mouthfull and then just keep it in her mouth without swalling it to keep me from giving the next spoonfull; or she would run away and hide behind the couch laughing at me; or put her head in the pillow so that I cannot reach her mouth. I've tried all approaches you can think off. The more I perform the more she will perform. I've now decide to just relax about the whole thing and now it is a little bit better, but she now only eats about 3 spoons of food! She drinks lots of milk in her bottle and I am thinking of throwing the bottle away - maybe she will then be more interested in food, because at the moment I get the idea she doesn't like food at all. She doesn't even like chips, cooldrinks or sweets!!!
When both me and the nanny is there she doesn't want to eat from the nanny at all and then prefer me, but with me she plays all her little games.
Are these normal toddler antics or do you think she does have some psycologial problem? She is otherwise so happy and we have a happy marriage an she gets enough attention from both my husband and me.
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CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Do make a plan to watch the DSTV channel 40 series, now at around 5 pm "House of Tiny Tearaways" , as Jemma suggests, about terrible toddlers, which deals very well with how to cure such problems. One factopr commonly magnifying this sort of problem is a haried and hurried mum who gets extremely anxious about the feding process, and a child who recognizes that by messing around with their feeding, they can gain immense power over mom.
Watching this program, and looking out books with a similar simple approach could help you to clear this up on your own ; or if you can find a good local child psychologist with a similar behavioural approach rather than one of the neanderthal ones who are stuck in the disproven "analytical" methods, this shoudl be practical to clear up fairly briskly.
CP mom seems to have used part of the process --- ignoring the refusal to eat, and making no fuss about it, and giving copious praise and cuddles when she gets it right, works wonders.
Purple has the right attitude and process, too. And raises the other point I wass thinking about --- your child eats well with the nanny, as the nanny doesn't get worried about it ; and maybe she has eaten enough by the time you come home, and doesn't really need much more.
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