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25 Feb 2003

too much time bad for relationship?
Hi everyone

I woudl like to know whether too much time spent with ones partner is a bad thing when I say too much time, I mean everyday for just over a year now... You see, last night out of the blue my boyfriend called me, woke me up, and told me that he needs some time alone. He feels that he needs some space and private time as we spend too much time together and he feels asif I am monitoring him and want to know too much, and questions everything he does, to a certain extent he is right. It is just that we broke up so many times in this year and made up the same day as I dont believe in going to bed with unresolved problems... We do not live together but I see him everyday, he claims that he is losing his individuality and feels a bit suffocated in this relationship...
This morning on my way to work I picked him up from home and agreed to see one another over weekends. I hope that this is a right decision as I feel that I need some private time too... We are both stressed people due to our career and part time studies. Was it the right decision to spend the whole week alone and only see one another over weekends?
I am fealing uneasy about this decision and hope that its not going cause us drifting further apart...
We both love each other dearly...
Answer 361 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear cool,
There are no absolute right and wrong answers to such questions. If whatever amount of time a couple are spending together is causing some distress to either or both of them, then maybe it is too much. If you are both engaged in busy, highly stressed jobs, especially if these themselves include a high degree of stressful people contact, it would be very understandable that you might both value more quiet time. This may include time spent alone, preferably on peaceful and relaxing pastimes ; and perhaps also choosing to spend some of your time together in less demanding, quiet pursuits, lisening to quiet music, reading --- even if in the same room, not necessarily conversing and active.
It is possible for folks to work too hard at a relationship, without enjoying some time to just let it be.
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