Ask an expert

20 Jun 2011

Toxic on/off relationship - I know im the problem.
I have been in an on/off relationship with the father of my child for the past 4 years. We were exclusively dating until she was 18 months and then broke up. I have gone to see psychologists but yet i still take him back. I know that i am the problem because i am weak when it comes to him. I really dont understand why i take him back, he does nothing for me. I have a good job, my own place etc. although i may not have a car i take public transport. The one twist however is that i never go make the first contact, he is always the one who comes to look for me. He will call after many months of not talking and then we just go back to being a couple. THis will last 3 months and then we dont talk for 7. How do i finally stop this. What can i do to make myself get out of this rut? I need to change and show both him and i that this relationship is over and not good for both of us. Where to from here. I date when he is not around but someone i am choosing the wrong people.
Answer 296 views

01 Jan 0001

Why do you still ake him back ? Apparently you know this is the wrong thing to do, but still you do it ? Why not change your number som it's harder for him to contact you ? Why not tell him it's over and ask him not to contact you ?
It's hard to believe you have seen any psychologist or counsellor, let alone several, without managing to understand and stop this unhelpful behaviour. This suggests you actually don't want to change it, but want to be able to say you tried.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
33% - 9321 votes
67% - 18660 votes