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02 Feb 2009

Trust/Anxiety Issues
I need to know how I can deal with my trust issues, please. I only realised last weekend that I have trust issues. Not just my husband (but he is the one who is suffering the most) but my friends as well.

Every time someone close to me tells me something, like  you look nice, I like your hair, You' ve lost a lot of weight - in my head I always turn the good comments into bad ones. I think that they are only saying that to make me feel better or just to say something, when they actually really mean it.
My husband and I can' t go out together as we both are jealous. (I know it' s not good, but I just don' t have confidence) He is always looking around, says he is checking out the guys who are looking at me. But I always think he is looking at other woman, which makes me feel that I am not pretty and good enough for him.

What do i do?

Should i speak to someone?

I live in the Eastern Cape area.

Thanks a lot
Answer 310 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

To start with, you have made a critically important first step, bu recognizing that this is a problem and that you need help with it. Vognitive-Behaviour Therapy, currently the method of counselling with the best proven results and efficiency, would probably be most helpful. It sounds as though the problems are not purely of trust, but issues of self-esteem. And when you think badly of yourself, you assume that any kind comment MUST have an ulterior motive.
And the counsellor could help you deal with your concerns about your husband, maybe even include him in the swessions after a while. Your husband obviously DOES think you are pretty and desirable --- so he is excessively watchful of other men looking at you --- which you, feeling so negative about yourself, interpret to mean that he doesn't think you attractive. IF he thought you were ugly, he wouldn't imagine other men would bother to look at you. Your nearest branch of FAMSA, and of the Anxiety-Depression Support Group ( number on this page ) could advise about CBT-capable counsellors within reach of you.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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