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26 Feb 2003

Unborn baby diagnosed with undeveloped arm and hand
My unborn baby was dianosed with a undeveloped arm and hand. His left arm are thin and developed till the elbow, with no lower arm and a undeveloped hand. His hand has just 2 fingers. We could no have children and when I fell pregnat, we were thrilled! This news came with a shock, but we are still thrilled to have been blessed with him. The only sad part is,how do we deal with rude and cruel people? How do we protect our son from people saying nasty things to him? How do we teach him to stay possitive and love life and not to9 be bothered with nasty people and children? We want to teach him right from the start. If all goes well, he will be born in April.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Mom2B,
I really understand your concern. Odd, really, this sort of problem of anticipating problems was impossible in the old days, when there was no way to know that there was any anomaly, until after birth.
You are right that all the things you mention are potential problems, but none are compulsory problems.
It is clear that your son will grow up with parents who really love him, and that is by far the most important blessing he could have. it will take some time before his problem becomes obvious to others outside your family, and before it becomes obvious to him. As he grows, your love will help his confidence to grow, with the basic sense that he's OK. Yes, as one approaches school age, one will discuss with him the possibility that others will be curious, awkward, and, yes, in some instances, rude and stupid. And one can discuss how to deal with that as the problems arise. He can learn that while he's a marvellous guy with an unusual arm, there are other people whose disability is harder to see at first, but their cruelty and lack of understanding of others and respect for other people's feelings, is a far more awful handicap to them ; an that their words and opinions really don't matter, as these merely disclose their inner ugliness.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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