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29 Jul 2005

hi CS,
i ignored Melissa for a while and realised how destructive i was getting... didnt help no one! U were right. I eventually spoke to her yesterday and just got everything out, she says she never said such things and she'll even agree to speak to gina and i on the phone and the only things shes said about me have been things she's said to me as well. The website recoveryourlife brought a piece of my writing, talk about a little start to my career of fantasy writing, haha! At least I get joy out of my writing.

So im going back to see melissa, im glad, its what i need. I couldnt be bothered to go to another counsellor and start my whole life story again, she knows me and im too complicated. And im leaving next year, so its pointless getting a new counsellor now, u know what i mean? Im just so tired of explaining all my illnesses over and over again, it will torment me starting from the beginning again. i picked myself up a bit from last week, cut down on drinking and keeping some food down. Getting closer with my friends and boyfriend, not withdrawing as much.

i just hate my mom, ive been cutting myself and writing her notes in blood like "ill Kill you bitch", i have so much anger towards her cuz of her ignoring my rape. im smashing picture frames, im throwing things at her, things at her are a nightmare...!! What to do
Answer 355 views

01 Jan 0001

Hello again kylee,
Pleased to hear you'r back with Melissa ( it did sound awfully improbable that she'd done what you at first thought she had ). Pleased you're enjoying your writing. Keep on increasing the eating till it's normal again, and cutting down the drinking, ditto. Those bloodstained notes sound rather melodramatic and lurid, don't they ? Sure to have ignored any rape was an awful thing to do, but there's not value to YOU ( which is what counts ) in maintaining all that anger.
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