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29 Jul 2010

Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply to my last post. I Took two days off work to work through my feelings. Although I''m still tearful especially when I talk to my husband, I think I''m getting stronger in my resolve. He''s always been street smart and has now found a place to stay until he gets back on his feet. At least that worry is now off my shoulders. I know that it''s still going to be a long road for me as I still love him as much as the day I married him but it''s now time for me to live my life. I have decided to start making lists of the things I want to achieve, things I was held back from doing because I always had him to consider. I have also contacted a support group for ppl going through a divorce and that has put me in a better frame of mind.

Just one question, is it wise for me to keep in contact with him and see how he is doing or do you think that a clean break would be easier on both of us? I still feel the need to make sure he is all right and he has commented that he wants to get his life in order and stop drinking so that he can prove to himself and to me that he can do it. He has also said he wants to win me back. That breaks my heart and sort of makes me rethink my decision but I know that going back now would not be healthy for me.
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01 Jan 0001

Well done. Maybe its time for HIM to learn to love himself, as well as you, more effectively. There can be diferent, reasonable, answers to your question. I think a combination might work - a clean break ( too many contacts and taking of the emotional temperatures can make it more uncomfortable for both of you ) but maybe with an agreement to check back with each other after, say, 6 months, to see how things are going. Too short a gap, and he cannot prove what he says he wants to show you, that he can clearn up his act and become worthy of you again. 6 months, and then 12 months, would be fairer intervals at which to both assess whether he can and will do this
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