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01 Dec 2005

Update on my posting - 11643 - Ex moving in with his mom...
Well all those that read my posting 11643 will know what I'm referring to, and i wanted to let you know whats happening with this situation..........

After much frustration and concern my fiancee sat me down and assured me that he wouldn't go to his mom's house without me, if at all, and that he doesn't feel what she is doing is respectful or wise.
It is however, his mothers decision, to invite whomever she wants into her home, it doesn't mean we have to like it or accept it either!

Problem is that his mom has now told us that we're being immature about the whole thing, I don't think this is about maturity at all, but more a case of not wanting to see and ex and be forced to face the past, for what??? This is all about his mother and what makes her feel good, she hasn't considered us at all.
She has now gone to far as to say that seeing that he doesn't accept her in her home, she will cut all ties with him. I think thats really heavy and not a good reflection of what a mother should be.

Wheres the support? This is killing my fiancee inside because he doesn't want to lose his mom, but to be honest I can see both sides and still think we have the right to accept or decline the invitation to be involved with his ex. Why should we be forced to do something we dont' want to. It's unnessary strain that we're not prepared to accept!

~Wings~
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Youre surely right, ~Wings, that this is not at all about maturity or immaturity. She is being simply thoughtless and selfish and not considering either of you at all. And when she speaks of cutting ties, she is placing this opportunistic Ex above her own child, which is not at all wholesome. I don't think he'll lose his mom over this, in the end. She is trying to manipulate you, and if you two stand firm, she'll revise her decisions. And she is likely to find the Ex not so angelic when living fulltime with her.
As Buzz says, make it clear that she will remain very welcome in your home., if she visits on her own.
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