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13 Mar 2003

very confused -help
I am engaged to a wonderful ,most caring man.I was very excited when he porposed to me late last year (October), as I belived that we really are meant to be together.I had my flat and I decided that since t are engaged I should move in with him.Or by the way he is 33 and I am 31.i assumed that we next stage was to discusss the issue of marriage.The other time I tried to ask as he was not saying anything about this issue.He indicated clearly that he is not ready and he is not sure when he will be ready.I felt very confused because I know that I would'nt have moved in with him had this issue not being cleared between us( and he knows that very well, I indicated to him many times). I gave up my flat and my real problem is that I think he really trick me about the engagement,just wanting us to move in together.

I must mention he is one of those man who associate marriage with bad thing, like, it never works so why bother. My problem is that I do not want to be in situation that does not go with my values and morals(not to mention my family).Please advice me what to do, I am thinking of getting my own place because I do not want to look back and really regret that fact that I had a choice to decided but I did'nt.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Ruth, sounds like a good idea to explore getting your own place back, and continuing on your own until you meet someone with more respect for your feelings and values. He had no excuse for proposing to you if he had no intention of this leading to mariage, and if he knew that, had he just asked you to move in with him without the proposal, you would have refused.
From what you say, he did trick you, and isn't being fair or genuinely loving towards you. And if he now refuses to discuss the matter, this suggests that it was indeed a deception, and that he isn't interested in trying to sort things out to your satisfaction.
Why not move out, and leave him, as he in fact is --- Ruth-less ?
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