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06 Nov 2006

very stressed and worried about baby
im worried about my baby (2yrs six months old). we have been staying together since she was born but my mom was happy but complaining cos she said she wanted to stay with her fulltime. she says its her job as a granny to raise children, as it is in the african culture. even though she works, the baby will go to the creche cos its cheaper that side.

then last year in dec my salary was cut into half becos of the restructuring at work. and now i earn R4000. then mom suggested that the baby will leave with her this year, until i find a well paying job and something permanent, in JHB, where im based.

mom lives in botswana and in jan 2006 and i took the baby to stay with her there. since then my daughter is very violent and she bites/scratches and fights my mom all the time. sometimes she would just clap her on the face, and also claps other kids. this makes me so worried and i think maybe i will have to fetch her back. however, how will i afford to pay for the creche and the sleep in nanny costs? this side they are so expensive

i go visit mom every monthend to see the baby and when im there she wants to be next to me all the time. i do not blame her cos she misses me and i enjoy her company as well. and also, mom says in the middle of the nite baby wakes up and sits and start cryiing. this really breaks my heart. what can i do?

and when i return to Jhb, its a struggle cos she cries and sometimes i wait until she sleeps then quickly sneak out

me and her dad are not together anymore but we are friends for the baby's sake. he supports the baby emotionally, but since he is not working and his business is not doing well - he contributes R300 once in 6months for the baby. so I have been paying all the baby expenses alone since the past 2 years.

thanks for reading and i welcome all opinions
Answer 416 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Maybe its mainly that your child isn't used to being with her granny ? Or that granny's way of handling and dealing with a child is very different from yours ? And clearly, the child loves and misses you. And though I undertand your reason for sneaking away shile she is sleeping, this can make a child scaed to go to sleep if that becomes a time when loved ones disappear.
I hope your decision works out well for you all
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