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05 Mar 2003

Want him Back :-(
Hi all, after a long conversation with my boyfriend yesterday we have agreed that its over but following this agreement was some realisations that could have been material in the survival of our relationship and being very happy in it.

I am now in a predicament where I am feeling so sad that after much light has been shed on our situation regarding our failed relationship and now wanting to make it work, he doesnt want to try anymore. According to him its over and done with and feels that we should both move on we have agreed to be friends and spent most of our day together yesterday and I will be seeing him tonight.

I might be wrong but something I perceived as an abusive relationship could have been a cry for help and if both of us had to look at things objectively for a while we could have spotted the problem and dealt with it. To think it was an accumulation of arbitrary things which had a fatal affect on our relationship.

I feel asif I want to go back and make it work this time but he doesnt and it kills me inside. He was so sad last night and wanted to see me I have decided to spend a few minutes with him, as a friend and wait until he sleeps and has calmed down. I dont know why we are doing this to ourselves, both of us love oneanother so much and yet there seem to be no chance of a relationship. How can you be someone's friend when both of you love each other so much.

Is it real?

Please help me with this one, I want to move on but I still feel that we should give it another chance even though he made up his mind to put a perminent end to all of this.

I dont think it should be like this....
Answer 345 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Cool,
Maybe you're right now in feeling that, with this aded understanding, you might have been able to make a go of it ; maybe you're wrong. But it takes two to tango, and if one of you feels its over, it's probably over. But you don't have to use the new insights you have gained exclusively in mending this broken relationship --- you can add it to your stock of wisdom, and use your collected wiseness to ensure that your next relationship works out well.
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