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19 Jul 2005

Was it right????
So, last wkend hubbs takes me out of town for a belated bday treat. I insist that he uses a condom, apparently he had not carried any along with him. he throws tantrums, we get into a fight, he abuses me and tells me all sorts of nasty things. I tell him - if abusing me will make him feel better about the situation that's really fine with me but it wont resolve the problem at all and am not having unprotected sex with him at all. He then gets to the defensive and tells me that I am treating him like a sick dirty person and I am thinking that he is going to infect me with HIV and STDs and if that is purely the reason why I want him to use protection then he will never use a condom with me because he is the male and is the one who married me and not vice versa. I tell him well you must know that there is a huge price to pay for all our bad actions, if he wants to have unprotected sex then let him go find it wherever he thinks he can, moreover he has a chain of extra marital affairs even in foreign countries so why cant he have unprotected sex with one of his bitches and leave me alone. I tell him he is free to take on a third wife (this is his second marriage) if he so wishes, infact I would really be happy if he did so because that means I can also move on with my life. He tells me not to judge him by the past because I also have some skeletons in my closet, I tell him I have always given him benefit of the doubt whenever one of his flings comes to light, forgiven him and moved on but he never changes unlike me whose flings happened before we got married. right now he is just using those lines on me because he is really pressed and wants to relieve himself, following week he will be back to his randy ways. He hits the roof and tells me to think very clearly if I still want to be in this relationship because he is not going to live with a wife who thinks she is the man in the house. Next day we are not talking at all and we drive back all the way home without saying a word to each other. That night he requests to have sex with me and this time he is ready to use a condom even before I ask him to. I am so glad I stuck to my guns because I know just few minutes of pleasure is enough to ruin your whole life.
Answer 369 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hm, he seems to have a peculiar and old-fashioned view of the rights and responsibilities of being Male. Whatever you may have done before you were married, is totally irrelevant now, except of course to an ubnfaithful husband keen to draw attention away from his own failings. Good for you for sticking up for your principle and standing up to him and his absurd claims. But, as others say, surely you desrve someone far better than him, with his cheating habit ? Surely ( get a good legal opinion ) if you separated from him, he would still be required, by law, to provide for the maintenance of his children at the level they are accustomed to. And if the separation / divorce were on the grounds of his repeated unfaithfulness, he might also need to pay some maintenance for you.
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