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13 Mar 2004

weet nie hoe om dit te hanteer nie.<br>
Hi.
Ek hoop u kan my help.My broer is so bietjie meer as 2 jaar dood(hy het verdrink) hy was 14.Nou wat ek wil hoor is my ma het dit nog nie verwerk nie dit voel vir my dat sy in een van die rou fases vasgehak het.Sy besef hy is dood maar kan dit nie aanvaar nie.Sy praat baie oor hom en ek gee nie daaroor om nie maar sy huil haar in die nag wakker oor hom en dan die volgende dag is sy so af.Die dr het vir haar deoressie pille en 'n slaap pil gegee.Maar dit raak nie beter nie en ek is bang sy gaan haar nog dood treur.My pa is weer stil en nie 'n mens wat regtig praat oor gevoelens nie en ek dink nie hulle kan saam treur oor my broer nie.
Wat kan ons doen om haar te help.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

yes, Annemarie, it is indeed possible that people can get "stuck" in one of the phases of grief, and they benefit greatly from proper expert psychological help. This sort of problem is even more likely when there has been the loss of a child, an unexpected death, and one in other ways under unusually tragic circumstances. And perhaps also where the person, for whatever reason, feels as if they're not really getting emotional support from those close to them.
As you've noticed, because this is not really a typical Depression, the usual antidepressants often don't help, nor do sleeping pills. But seeing a counsellor / psychologist, especially someone experienced in dealing with chronic grief problems, can make a very major difference.
Also, perhaps even more once she has begun to improve with such counselling, she might find great comfort in joining, if there is a local branch within reach of you ( check the phone book ) the group called the Compassionate Friends. This is an organization which was originally founded by a friend of mine in the UK, which gathers parents who have lost a child, at whatever age. They will have much in common, yet also significant differences in their experiences, and will be well able to help each other.
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