Ask an expert
Question

18 Feb 2013

What do I do my mom is against me


People I have a really serious problem the minute I find a partner and introduce him to my mother we fight and part these are the scenarios:
When I was with the father of my children she used to come to my flat early Saturday s and open fridges and wardrobes and shout saying kudliwa imali yomtanami la( you chowing my child’ s money)
Whenever she was at my place we used to fight like hell after she left, this continued for 5 years, he went and paid Lobola when I had my 1st child, when he wanted to send his father to finish-up we used to have a heated fight he would end up using the money for something else, this happened 3 times.

On the 6th year we fought until the neighbours called police and he moved out of the flat, even now when he calls to find out about the kids, the minute I tell my mom she will be quite and stop paying maintenance.

I was not in a relationship for 4 years after this she kept on saying I’ m fine when I’ m alone like I mustn’ t get someone otherwise we will fight and I wondered what she meant, In 2010 I met this guy and we were fine until 2012 when I introduced him to my mom last December we fought and parted.

I now fear that if I get someone and he finds out we will fight and part, when I was with my 2nd ex she used to come every day at my place but not say anything because I have told my uncles about here not wanting me to be involved, now that he’ s gone she doesn’ t come as often..

What do I do with her I’ m thinking of taking my kids and change my place, what puzzles me as well is that she says it with her own mouth that if I get someone we will fight.

She does the same thing to my elder brother, and my sister the minute she finds out that she is involved they’ ll fight when we talk about marriage she’ ll say NO YOU’ S MUSTN’ T GET MARRIAGE THERE’ S NO MARRIAGE IT LASTS ONLY FOR 6 MONTHS.
Mna I really tired until when will this happen. PLEASE ADVICE I’ m puzzled
Guys I’ m 39 years for crying out loud I respected my mom to a point that I got my 1st child when I was 25 and working … … … … … … … … … … … .WHAT DOES SHE WANT ME TO DO HOW DO I LIVE
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
34% - 9250 votes
No
66% - 17785 votes
Vote