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28 Mar 2007

What do i do now?
guys please advice, i need as much advice as possible.

We have been together for seven years, engaged for 3 years and now he wants to get married, and i dont think i want to anymore.

reasons are well, i have never cought him in the act with someone else, but, there were times he'd go out and not come back at home (we were living together until he left for cape town to work there) and when he comes he'd say sorry he'll never do it again and just say he was out with friends drinking etc,

I think he has been cheating on me ever since we started dating, i just dint know it. now i usually check his phone bill, and everything i check there'd be a suspicious number and when i follow up on it i'd find out its a his girlfriend and after i confront him with it it'll disappear and after a while same thing would happen but with a different girl, now i just found another number but this time its a girlfriend i found out about before last year and they cut all ties last year and now it has come back. so basically he is a serial cheater,

I still love him and i am currently preg with our second child, but really i feel if he keeps doing this it means i am really not good enough for him so i ask myself why stay with a man that u will never satisfy?

we have spoken about this and he always denies everything, and would swear at me and say he doesnt cheat on me and he wants me etc, etc. other that this he is a responsible father and there for his child and is participating 100% with my current pregnancy and i love him for that. which makes my situation harder.
Answer 323 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Its puzzling to many of us that you would remain with, and accept two pregnancies from, a man you believed to be routinely cheating you. It is not your task to "satisfy" him more than it is his task to satisfy you --- it's nothing to do with you not being good enough for him, but with him not being good enough for you. If he is prepared to consider that he might be at fault, marriage / relationship counselling might help ; otherwise get CBT style counselling for yourself and work towards achieving independence and greater self-esteem and self-respect.
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