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21 Feb 2003

What to do.
A good and hearty hello to all. Back form holiday and once again facing the trials we all know too well, this time with a little more vigour and alot more appreciation for the things that really matter.

For once I won't be writing about depression or any negative emotions - I need some user input, some advice, something to help me formulate my own plan of action. After a very nasty break up (BTW no more contact with the mean hag - no desire to even : ), I met up with my very first gf - not with the eye on anything else but having someone familiar around after moving back to the BIG GUAVA after nearly 5 years on a little backward mine town. We spent alot of time together, talked alot and I really enjoy her. After about 2 months it was new years and we decided to spend it alone, out of town on a small holding - to get away from noise, fireworks, fights and drunks throwing up on our shoes. Well certain things happened that friends don't normally engage in and when I spoke about it afterwards it came to light that she's not ready to be with someone (attachments) after a nasty break up on her side. I had to accept that and I did, supressing myself. A couple of weeks before I left, it happened again - and again - and to me it is pretty obbvious that there is more involved here than just being friends. So I left on holiday and came back. She made my return incredible, she watched my house while I was away, gave a card, a few gifts, and was really happy to have me back. I never felt so missed in my life in that way.

Now I am wondering what I should do, Whenever we are together there is contact but I feel bitterly unsure of what or whether I should do anything. It's rather stressful to be in such a situation wanting something that might be right there but not being sure if you should. I cant just wait for her to do something, but I don't want to make a fool of myself either.

Any suggestions.

Thanks.

P.S. Tsitsikamma is definately the gateway to heaven.
Answer 312 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Welcome back, Paul.
I wonder whether she might not feel similarly unsure of where this ought to go, or is going, but perhaps also enjoying the journey there ?
Those of us who like being somewhat analytical and in charge can come to feel a bit uneasy when things feel good but resist analysis. Sometimes one needs to go with the flow for a while, though watching out for rocks in the water ( to extend the metaphor ! ).
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