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29 Nov 2005

what to do
i was sexually abused by my eldest brother from a young age i managed to suppress it all until lately when it all came flooding back i am now in my twenties and still afraid to be with my brother alone even though he is married with two kids of his own (whom i love alot) i can not face being lone with a guy no matter how old he is even younger than me recently met a wonderful guy but broke all contact with him could not bring myself to trust him, start a relationship with him, nor could i emotionally bond with him (dont bond with anyone emotionally) he told me everything about himself past etc i could bring myself to tell him a thing about myself i know i need help but i cannot talk face to face with someone i run miles when the topic of abuse come up afraid that someone might find out that i ad been abused
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

It sounds as though it's the emotions associated with your recall of the earlier episode of abuse that fel overwhelmning now, as there's sure not a risk that he'll try any such thing again, at this age. What you need is to see a good, practical, CBT oriented psychologist in your area, NOT somebody who specializes in matters related to priot abuse, as they are too often obsessed with the topic to the point that they neglect your real current problems while preferring to dig around in the past. You can by using the CBT techniques to examine, test, and discard any of the assumptions you have been making since the experiences of abuse, to replace them with sensible, practical, realistic assumptions, to enable you to feel much better and to enjoy life with freedom again
Don not fear seeing a counsellor --- maybe a female counsellor ? ---they should be skilled at putting you at your ease and making it easier for you to talk about what you need to talk about --- you have nothing to feel ahsamed or bad about.
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