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Question

08 Dec 2005

What to do when you..
have an enormous crush on a collegue? Been working together for more than a year now but did not like him much in the beginning - he's so nice and decent and i thought it was just an act - but 1 year down the line he's still the same nice, considerate gentlemen...seems too good to be true...i've never seen anything like it..

He's got a girlfriend - they've been together since Primary School (he's in his early 20's)....?...that's why i've kept it a secret...but some days when he has gone out to see her over lunch he comes back and looks so sad....i really feel that there is some kind of a connection between us, but I can't act on it - i really care about him and if there ever was to be something more, i don't want it to start with lies/deception (which he would never allow)..

Its so obvious that he's unhappy...is there maybe a way for things to work out..or should i just wait and see...????????
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

What connection can there possibly be between the two of you, except what you choose to fantasize, based on your crush on him ? He has a gf and chooses to be with her --- don't interfere with that relationship. There are many reasons why he may be unhappy ( if indeed he actually is unhappy ) --- but they're his business, not yours.
I disagree with Peter Pan and others --- Love is NOT knocking at your door --- you are knocking on his. That's significantly different. He is an adult, and responsible for his own life and happinesss. He is free to leave this other girl and find someone else of his choice--- if he chooses to do so. DOn't projct your feelings onto him, and assume that he feels likewise.
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