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04 Jul 2005

Whats wrong with me
Its been 4 years since a man has approached me in anyway. I moved to another city and realise that when you are in a new place people tend to ignore you as they dont know you. Now 4 years later still nothing has happened. Last year I had someone approach me but he was married and I will not go back on my principles. Now it seems that I am a magnet for all married men! What happened to all the single guys???? A couple of months ago a married man approached but somehow the situation changed and now we are best friends. I asked him why he was attracted to me initially and he said that married men tend to want to have affairs with independant women because they know that the women wont put any demands on them. He also told me that because I am so independant men feel intimidated by me. I didnt know that independance is a problem. I dont think I'm bad looking, I look after myself and go to the gym everyday. I have a supervisory job in a well known company, own my own house, drive a nice car. My friend has told me that men become intimidated by career women, he also says that because I'm still young (I"m 27) guys tend to see a woman thats career orientated and might not want to settle down.
Is it really a problem to single guys that I'm independant and why are they so intimidated by me. I've been told that when I'm dress casually its easier to approach me but when I'm dressed for work you can easily see that I'm a very strict person.
In my mind is not better to have a partner that knows what they want in life?? And why am I scaring all the single guys away and attracting the married ones?
Answer 322 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

O, independence isn't usually a problem, but appearing so independent that a guy feels superfluous and unneeded, does put him off ! Maybe also,you're relatively senior at a relatively young age, and younger or same-age men, or men hierarchically under you, might hesitate to approach you for fear that it might be misinterpreted.
And as P suggests, it sounds as though you persist in waiting for the guy to make the first move, and in this day and age, a strong and competent woman like you can very acceptably make the first move yourself, especially towards chatting and amicable time spent together.
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