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09 Jun 2011

When to let go
I have been dating this guy for a year now and ever since I met him I have been dealing with all his baggage. He has been through a lot in his life and practically lost everything. He used to be very rich in his past life but now wiped out.

Problem is ever since I met him it has been one disaster after another in his life as he slowly tries to climb back up. I have exhausted all my savings trying to support and assist him. I am now at a point where I have to incure debts in order just to put body and soul together. He has moved into my place, is using my car, I buy him clothes, am financing is business operations and it is really killing me.He is basically draining me financially and emotionally. I have a small child to think of and for my sake and my child I think I need to end things with him before I find myself in even bigger trouble.

I really love him and will miss him (so will my kid) but I feel like I have to save myself and soon.

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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

WHY have you been doing all this for him ? Clearly, he used to be capable of taking care of business, and surely he could still do it and needs to retain the ability to do so. Did he wask you to take over ? By all means advise, to limit his failures ( one wonders why he fails so much if once he succeeded - did he succeed by flook, and now doesn't know how to actually work towards success ?
But why sponsor him, and waste your savings on his failures ? If he is incompetent at business, why are you wasting money helping him to keep on failing ? Tell him you cannot continue to sponsor im, and must save yourself and your child. Maybe he has far too high an unrealistic opinion of how good he thinks he can be at business, and should be more realistic, and get a much more humble job where he can earn money - he doesn't have to be in charge all the time.
You haven't known him long enough to live together and pour all your saings into him. YOu don't know how much of what he has told you about his former wealth and success is true or not.
Save yourself and your child, and let him start realisically supporting himself, which he won't do so long as he can still drain your savings.
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