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06 Dec 2005

Why am I so attracted to her?
Ok heres my dilemma, I do have a Gf & we are happy, I saw an old aquaintance in person & on this chat forum recently she isnt my type yet I feel this sudden urge to be with her, kiss her have sex with her, she is gay but not my type, but there is something about her that just intrigues me so much, we have started emailing each other, just normal friends chat, I think she might feel the same actually but is too scared. I just want to touch her & well its driving me insane at the moment she is really nice & really pretty! Any thoughts anybody?
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Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi FemChick and thanks for posting here.

Others may disagree with me but it sounds as if your feelings for the third person are impulsive and predominantly sexual. Which is great but you have a girlfriend and you say that you're happy. All of us are physically attracted to other people, whether we're in a relationship or not - there are some very attractive people out there!

I suggest you spend a bit of time conducting an 'audit' of your current relationship - what this relationship means to you, how functional it is for you and your partner and what has transpired to get you two to this point of your relationship's growth and development. Part of that audit would include how you and your partner manage boundaries around your relationship, including how you respond to other people you find sexually interesting. If, at the end of this, you decide that a sexual interaction with the third person is worth jeopardising your current relationship you'll be giving yourself consent to pursue her.

Remember that even if your current partner never finds out about this, it will still impact on your relationship - you'll know that you've been unfaithful and that in itself will change the fabric of your relationship. You're already on tricky ground by emailing her; if you're truly happy in your current relationship, as you claim, you may want to end this.

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