Ask an expert

18 Jun 2004

bj - the right way
ok guys, pls dont crucify me for sounding stupid but theres something i really need to know: i used to actually SUCK when giving my boyfriend a bf and hes never complained. then one of my friends told me the other day that youre not supposed to suck, just to move his shaft up and down in your mouth. now i feel stupid when going down there, not sure if im doing it right or making a fool of myself and hes just to sensitive to hurt my feelings by telling me. can someone pls tell me exactly how todo it?
Answer 766 views

01 Jan 0001

Why not ask your partner rather than your friend what it is that he likes - sucking vs moving the shaft up and down? Here are some suggestions:

Blowjobs aren't just for men's pleasure. That's right, many women say the feeling of control it gives them combined with the oral stimulation is a turn-on in its own right. Read on for tips and techniques to make a blowjob an ultimately satisfying experience for all involved.

The Anatomy
Know what you're getting into:

Glans: The head of the penis
Frenulum: The underside of the glans; ** the most sensitive part **
Shaft: The length of the penis
Perineum: The area between the anus and the testicles
Testicles: Where sperm is made and stored for ejaculation.

Basic Up & Down
Position yourself comfortably:
Start by teasing his penis - kiss, breathe lightly, whisper, tickle.
Switch to sucking. Create a vacuum by pursing your lips, then using them to surround his penis.
Thrust your mouth down over his penis while you suck.
Use your saliva as a lubricant.
Stroke with your hands while sucking.
Twist your hand as you move up and down on the shaft. Switch hands occasionally for variation.

Beyond Sucking
Licking & nibbling is quite stimulating:
Run your tongue around the glans, then focus on the frenulum.
Flick your tongue back and forth and all around as you're sucking.
Lick the bottom of the shaft while using your hand to fondle the glans, and vice versa.

All-Around Focus
There's more to the penis than meets the eye:
Take his balls gently into your mouth and suck.
Run your tongue along his perineum.
Lick his anus and see if he likes it.
Rub his balls gently as you suck the shaft.

Spit or Swallow
It's your decision:
Some like to take come into their mouth, some like to watch it shoot. Both can be very sexy.
If you choose to take it in your mouth, you can swallow or keep a cloth or napkin nearby to spit into.
Know your partner and make good choices. Swallowing during oral sex on an HIV-infected man has been known transmit the virus.

10 Advanced Tips
Take a deep breath before you take his penis into your mouth to relax your throat muscles. This is to prevent gagging if you think his penis is going to touch the back of your throat.
Use your hand around the base of his penis to control how deep he goes into your mouth.
Try swallowing when his penis reaches the back of your throat. It kind of tickles.
You can start a blowjob when your partner's penis is flaccid and stimulate him to erection.
Pubic hairs in your mouth are normal. Just stop for a minute to take them out & then keep going.
Use a finger in your partner's anus to massage his prostate.
Pop an ice cube in your mouth or a mint for extra stimulation.
Run your hands over his inner thighs as your mouth moves on his shaft.
Keep your teeth away from his penis, or very, very lightly rub them against him while sucking.
Not all men come during oral sex. Don't worry if he doesn't - his orgasm is his responsibility, not yours.

Recommended Products:
Toys: Wet flavored lube, Unlubricated condoms, Flavored condoms
Books: The Guide to Getting It On!, The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex, Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man
Videos: Nina Hartley's Advanced Guide to Oral Sex

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
32% - 9472 votes
68% - 20291 votes