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19 Jan 2010

Need Advice !!! NB !!!
I married to a beautiful Wife, who is not into sex or making love, as I am. Probably due to our problems, or her given birth 6months back to our beautiful daughter.
The MAIN problem is me  could I be addicted to SEX? Some say masturbation is good, others say it’ s bad. I do it every day, to relieve stress, or so I hope. But I want my wife!, but I will not force her. Could there be a hormone depressor that would make me much less hornier, could there be a way to stop fantasising about sex. Could this be a problem that might lead to having an affair?
PLEASE HELP
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Expert
Sexologist
Sexologist

01 Jan 0001

This is a common post-natal experience and may be due to several factors:
1. the hormones during breastfeeding, or the act of breastfeeding may dampen sexual interest
2. if your wife is suffering from post-natal depression, this will dampen her sexual interest and she may need some medical support
3. tiredness / exhaustion due to sleep deprivation frequently knocks sex down the priority list as her priority is likely to be the baby & building the 'family'.
4. difficulty adjusting to being a mother and the idea of being sexual as a mother may turn some people off.
5. resentment that her role as mother has changed you completely and she may feel that your life has remained largely the same (e.g. you can still go to gym or out with friends, but she may feel too guilty to or feel unable to because of breastfeeding or fear of having someone else look after the baby)
6. She may feel that all she does is meet other people's demands - the baby, work (if applicable), yours - not only could this reduce her libido as she is likely to feel drained, but also make it difficult for her to want to do anything about it because she just gives, gives, gives...
7. if your baby shares your bedroom or bed, she may feel inhibited.

Given the above list, it would be helpful to discuss possible reasons (i.e. most likely more than one) for her loss in sexual interest. It may be that she needs you to change some things for her to be more available to be sexual. It may be that she needs to think more about the importance of caring about your needs as well as that of the baby - this is easier to do if she sees that you are also working hard to meet her needs too (not just financial, but emotional).

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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