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09 Apr 2004

please help
I AM A 24 YEAR OLD LADY WITH A PROBLEM. MY BOYFRIEND HAS A HUGE PENIS. I HAVE HAD 2 OTHER SEXUAL PARTNERS BUT NONE AS HUGE AS HIM. HE IS VERY CONSIDERATE WHEN IT COMES TO MY FEELINGS BUT I WANT TO GIVE HIM FULL SATISFACTION. HIS PENIS IS LONGER THAN 20cm AND IS AS THICK AS MY WRIST. I CANNOT TAKE HIM FULL IN CAUSE IT HURTS SO BAD. HE DOES NOT COMPLAIN BUT I KNOW HE IS NOT FULLY SATISFIED. HIS PENIS ONLY GOES IN ABOUT HALF WAY WHEN I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO SPLIT WIDE OPEN. HOW CAN I ACCOMODATE HIS FULL SIZE. I REALLY WANT TO SATISFY HIM. WE DO USE PLENTY OF LUBRICATION. CANNOT TAKE HIM IN ORALLY AND ANAL IS OUT OF THE QUESTION. PLEASE HELP CAUSE I WANT TO FEEL THE FULL LENGHT OF HIS PENIS IN ME WITH MINIMAL PAIN.
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Expert
Sexologist
sexy

01 Jan 0001

Nothing is wrong with you. This is not your problem. It's an area of negotiation between the two of you to be figured out together. Communication and creativity are the two main ingredients in working toward a solution that satisfies both of you.

Contrary to popular belief, that "bigger is better," oral sex, anal sex, or vaginal intercourse with a well-endowed man can be challenging. For some, the "gag reflex" makes it difficult to have the entire shaft of the penis in one's mouth. For others, penetration causes pain.

You mention pain when your boyfriend tries to penetrate you fully. The discomfort may be due to the head of his penis hitting your cervix . Regardless of penis size, sensual touching is essential before penetration as it allows enough time for arousal as well as vaginal lubrication . For some women, a dab of water-based lube can make a huge difference. Different positions sometimes help, too.

As a result, some people feel more comfortable with partial insertion during oral, anal, and vaginal sex. The unenveloped part of the penis, as well as the scrotum or anus, can be stimulated with fingers, hands, or a vibrator.

As you experiment and play, tell one another how you feel, what is uncomfortable, and what feels good. This doesn't mean carrying out a full conversation while having sex; simple words — like "deeper" or "not so deep," "gently" or "harder," "faster" or "slower" — usually are enough to get the point across and make sex more enjoyable for both of you.

While the Latin term for oral sex on a man, fellatio, means, "to suck," oral sex on part or along all of a penis (think mielies) involves caressing with the lips, tongue, mouth, breath, and fingers, together. The glans (also known as the head), corona (the ridge of tissue around the head), and frenulum (the thin band of skin on the underside of the penis connecting the head and the shaft) have many nerve endings that generally cause extra pleasurable sensations when stimulated. Edible liquids, such as honey, can create warm sensations. For safer oral, vaginal, or anal sex, use a liquid that's water-based so it won't deteriorate latex condoms. Some receivers enjoy the cold sensation of ice cubes or the tingling feeling of a mint that has been in the giver's mouth before oral pleasuring begins.

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