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19 Oct 2011

sex issue
Hello doc
I hope you can help me, i have a very small problem which is turning into a very big one.

about 8 years ago i was gang raped and thought i''d dealt with all the issues back then, i overcame my fear of sex and met an amazing man and we have since got married.

I have also got endometriois and the doctor has been changing my pill to try and find one that keeps me most comfortable, I''ve been on Triphasil, Nordette, Triodene, Yasmin, Trigestral and now back to Trphasil in the last 2 years.
During this time i''ve been experiencing pain when my husband and I have sex but its not unbearable.
A couple of months ago, we were having sex and a thrust a little hard which i wasn''t expecting I got a fright and burst into tears (cos it was sore as well)
Now I am absolutely terrified and steering away from sex all together. Also my entire body is sensitive to the touch - is this just hormones?
What do you recommend I do to get over the scared of sex thing?
Answer 279 views
Expert
Sexologist
Sexologist

01 Jan 0001

You are a true survivor and have done incredibly well to overcome your fear of sex. I wonder if you have come to enjoy sex, or simply not fear it. There are a number of things that could account for the discomfort - the pill you are on, or insufficient arousal. The pain you experienced on the vigorous thrust clearly upset you, but you don't need to be afraid of sex in general now...I would encourage you to speak to your husband about the importance of him being gentler in future, but you also need to work with him on the discomfort you have been experiencing. If arousal is the issue, you need to take your time to make sure that you are ready before beginning penetration in particular. The addition of a good lubricant could also assist. Returning to your previous therapist is not a bad idea, just don't stick to it ONLY being about the past rape - whilst of course this may play an important role, there could also be other more immediate factors like insuffiecient arousal and consequent tensing of the pelvic floor.

Best wishes
Claire - SASHA

For further information please consult SASHA's website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com
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