Ask an expert

25 Sep 2008

Sexologist and ladies pls
How long is fine when having sex for a man to come. I wonder a lot. Some times it is ok to not go on for to long, and some times not. Give me a time frame please.
Answer 340 views

01 Jan 0001

The time taken until ejaculation (coming) may be more or less difficult depending on circumstances (e.g. how arousing the sex is, how long since last sex, your partner's sexual response). On average it takes a man 2 minutes to ejaculate and a woman 13 minutes to reach orgasm, so it is common for couples to try to match their sexual response as far as possible. Sometimes she can become aroused and reach orgasm quicker than this, in which case some women prefer the man to come relatively soon thereafter as their natural lubricant will dry up and sex can become uncomfortable. Unfortunately, however, the female response often takes much longer than the male's response, so ideally he needs to learn to control/delay his ejaculation if they are trying to help her reach her orgasm through penetrative sex.

If you're both enoying what you are doing, and can carry on, then there is no rule as to when you should stop or how long you delay ejaculation for. However, prolonged sex can be tiring, and the friction can become uncomfortable (especially if lubricant is not used/added), so if it becomes tiresome or uncomfortable, stop.

There is a belief that a good lover is one who can go on for a long time - this is not necessarily true and is more a matter of perspective. I have worked with many women who have enjoyed sex but also want it to end if it goes on for more than 15-20 mins (some are even less!). I would say that the best measure as to how long, would be to check out with your partner!
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.