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Question

23 Apr 2003

Taking too long to orgasm.
Hi there,
I am a gay man and have met a wonderful guy with whom I am now deeply in love. I just have one problem: he takes ages, and i really meen ages, to orgasm. I am slightly older tham him, and he is 19. I thought young guys usually came to quicly? This is the first time I have heard of this problem in such a young guy. We could have been at it for a while, but when he wants to come, it takes a long time and both my arms hurt at the end trying to get him off.
Is there soemthing we can do to make him come a little sooner? I know most people would kill to be able to go at it for so long, but it gets REALLY tiring.
Hope you can help us.
Tired hand.
Answer 981 views
Expert
Sexologist
sexy

01 Jan 0001

Delayed ejaculation is when ejaculation takes a long time to occur, or never occurs, during lovemaking with a partner and/or during masturbation.

There is no problem with the man's erection and he can often feel extremely aroused. The difficulty can be made worse by soreness and discomfort due to prolonged rubbing (either during intercourse or masturbation) in an effort to 'come'.

What happens?
The man may feel aroused and horny, can get a firm erection easily but despite erotic foreplay finds he is unable to ejaculate. This may sound like a good thing - a man who can last all night - but in reality it can cause both partners to feel unhappy and frustrated.

Why does it happen?
Delayed ejaculation can have some physical causes, so a trip to the GP is recommended. For instance, spinal injuries, the side effect of some medicines and alcohol abuse can all cause delayed ejaculation.

Psychological problems are also often responsible for this difficulty. A traumatic experience from childhood (sexual abuse or ridicule from a previous partner) can lead to difficulties in ejaculating in adulthood. Feelings of anger can also interfere with ejaculation.

Treatments
Delayed ejaculation caused by psychological problems is best helped by a course of psychosexual therapy.

It is often made worse by tension and worry, so relief of stress can sometimes pave the way to regaining ejaculation. If the problem is physical your GP will recommend appropriate treatments.

Contact SA Sexual Health Association 0860 100 262 for a referral to a Sex Therapist
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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