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Question

05 Feb 2010

When not getting enough....
WHat can one do when he or she does not get enough sex from their partner..
BUT, they still love each other, its just the sex life is gone...

Do u look else where??
Try sex toys??

I dont know.. please advice

Answer 465 views
Expert
Sexologist
Sexologist

01 Jan 0001

Dear Anon,

Firstly it is important to know that in all couples there will always be one partner that has a higher sex drive than the other (and it is not always the man who has the higher sex drive amongst heterosexual couple) Each couple need to accept that it is normal, need to learn to communicate openly and honestly with each other regarding their sexual needs and desires. A couple can then works towards a mutually satisfying middle ground.

The partner with the higher sex drive may supplement sexual activity with their partner with masturbation.

It is also not uncommon for long term couples to find that due to their familiarity and life demands that their sexual relationship becomes routine and stale. It is important for a couple to prioritise their sexual relationship and to be willing to work at keeping their sexual relationship fun, interesting, explorative and diverse.

Couples can try things like arranging a "dirty weekend away", trying sex in other venues than the bed, try role-playing, trying new sexual positions etc. Sex toys can add a fun and playfull and "naughty" energy to a couple's sex lives.

Break the routine and rut.

It is also important to know that sometimes the sexual relationship can be the arena where issues in other areas of the relationship can play out. For example if feelings are left unexpressed, issues unresolved, problems avoided, the resentment can build up and result in the sexual relationship suffering.
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