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Question

07 Nov 2008

Granddaughter&#39 s attitude !!
Message:
I HAVE A GRANDDAUGHTER WHO WILL BE 13 IN FEB. HER DAD
[MY SON] AND MOM ARE DIVORCED SHE HAS A BROTHER HE WILL BE 11 IN FEB HE IS A REAL HONEY, SHE HOWEVER IS A LOVELY CHILD AS WELL, SHE CONFIDES IN ME WITH EVERYTHING IF SHE NEEDS SOMETHING FOR SCHOOL OR A SPECIAL OCCASION SHE PHONES AND I HAVE NEVER REFUSED HER ANYTHING IN FACT BOTH GRANDKIDS GET THE SAME TREATMENT. I NOTICE SHE IS VERY AGITATED AND WHEN I ASK HER WHAT'  S BOTHERING HER SHE FLARES UP AND TELLS ME NOT TO ASK QUESTIONS AND SHE WOULD ALSO APPRECIATE ME NOT PHONING HER ON A DAILY BASIS, I EXPLAINED TO HER I LOVE HER AND HER BROTHER VERY MUCH BUT IF SHE WANTS ME TO STAY OUT OF THEIR LIVES I WILL DO IT AT HER REQUEST. I FEEL SORRY FOR BOTH OF THEM, I DON'  T WANT TO BREAK TIES WITH THEM I AM PRIVILEGED TO HAVE THEM EVERY 2ND WEEKEND AND I GO FULL OUT TO GIVE THEM WHATEVER THEY WANT, I AM JUST VERY HURT KNOWING I HAVE NEVER DONE ANY HARM AND THE MANNER IN WHICH MY GRANDDAUGHTER SPEAKS TO ME MAKES ME WANT TO GIVE UP-I REALLY WOULDN'  T DO THAT BUT IT LOOKS LIKE SHE WANTS ME OUT OF HER LIFE PLEASE ADVISE ME HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION MANY THANKS MELANIE.
Answer 416 views
Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Melanie,

it does sound as if what your granddaughter is asking for is space rather than you out of her life. This is very typical of someone her age who is entering adolescence where time to yourself becomes more important, and also a time where a number of your thoughts and feelings feel intensely private.

She also has the issues to deal with around her mom and dad. What I suggest you consider is not calling her every day, but that you ensure that she knows that you think about her a lot and that whenever she needs you you will be there. Knowing that will be important to her and give her the space to grow.

Best wishes
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