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27 Aug 2007

HELP MY 13 Y BOY WANTS TO STAY AT DAD
please help

my son of 13 has desided to go and stay with his dad.. and he is doing everything to get his way.. so much so he schoolwork is going for a loop. i am remarried and have a ynger son of 6 aswell from my ex what to i do ???

Do i let him go even if i know its not a good idee ?
Or let him make up his mind and see that it wasnt a good idee
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Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

Given his age and determination I suggest you think about a trial period for him with his father. At his age boys identify very strongly with male figures in their lives so it is not surprising that he is wanting more contact with his father.

What I would suggest is that you negotiate with his father about the trial period with certain criteria that need to work - e.g. school performance. If you try to stop him he is likely to become resentful about this, and will not have the opportunity to perhaps appreciate all the things you do for him when suddenly you are not there!

What I do not reccommend is a move backwards and forwards from you to father. So if it doesnt work and he comes back to you that there is not a constant back and forth which would be very disruptive.

It may not be easy to go with the plan but in letting him try i can potentially strengthen your relationship with him, especially with clear boundaries in place.
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