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16 Jan 2006

I wish I were another person, hate myself
I'm 16 years old and I've never had boyfriend. In fact, I've never kissed a boy and I'm dreading the moment when i do it. I think I will be a "bad kisser", as everything in my life goes always wrong. I think i am waiting for the perfect boy to give my fist kiss, but it doesn't come. I'm not really used to talking with boys, as all my friends are girls.

I always get very good marks at school, but I don't feel proud of myself because of that. My life is quite empty, I feel that i am not taking advantage of these adolescence years that are supposed to be "wild".

My problem is that I really like a boy, he is kind, sexy and wit, just the perfect boy i was looking for. Although he is in my class, I would not be surprised if he didn't know my name. I feel invisible sometimes. I don't know what to do because boys don't speak to me; maybe because for them I'm a swot. My parents say that I'm discreet, intelligent and elegant, but that I'm not the kind of girl who boys of my age pay attention to.
I compare other girls with me and i feel small, I just accept and convince myself that they are better that me. I know i should think about the things I have, and not about the things I don't have, but I don't find good qualities in me. I hate myself, I'm kind of a "good" girl and I'm fed up with this. I wish I were another person. I wish I were wit and joyful sexy girl.

I sometimes think nobody loves me. I feel like a failure; and a disappointment for everyone.

I need help, please. Just can't face this anymore.

(I'm a spanish girl, so sorry if you don't understand something. This is all I can do with my English studies.. )
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Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi there Amie,

what you have described is somethig felt by many young people - I say this because it is important for you to knwo that you are not alone in how you feel. As well as adolescence being a time where some people are 'wild' this is not the case for everyone, and that this is a period in some people's lives where they feel very shy - especially about developing relationships, and having boy/girl friends.

Being yourself rather than pretending to be someone else is really the way to go. I am not really sure what 'Mike' means by his comments on this forum about guys, as this is not really about girls or boys being more picky than the other. This is ultimatley about how you feel about yourself. I notice Amie that although you pay yourself compliments in certain ways you are then very quick to wipe these out as insignificant. While dealing with how you feel about yourself overall, it is crucial for you to hold on to those things that are so very good about you.

Being yourself means you will be noticed for you and not for pretending to be someone else. The more confident you are about being you the more I think you will be noticed. I get the feeling you hide away because you don't think much of yourself. Look again and put out there the real facts about yourself.

Best wishes.


On another matter, as it was done in response to Amie's question: I would ask 'Mike' - whoever you are - to not refer people who ask questions on this site to other experts based on your own decisions. This is a site for, and specialising in Teen issues, including mental health issues. So whilst your comments are welcome, please let those of us who specialise in Teen issues do our job!! Thank you.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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