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Question

01 Oct 2007

teenage love
Hi

My 12 yr old has been getting letters from a 14 yr old girl, who I've been warned about from neighbours that she sleeps out with older men. My son is obvious taken that a very beautiful older girl pays him attention. He is still an extremely immature and loving boy and i'm afraid that this girl will make him world wise too soon as she smokes and drinks. I tried to speak to her mom, but found her smoking with the mom. I don't want to bulldoze my son cause I know from my own teenage years that forcing your way as a parent just makes the situation worse. He is still so much of a baby, how do I handle this without pushing him away pls. I grew up very strict and I want to be more understanding yet still ensuring my son's wellbeing. I said he could date when he is 16 only, but i want to be sensitive because I know his feelings are there
Answer 303 views
Expert
Teen expert
teen expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi Nix,

he may want to date before 16 so you need to be careful about having definite ages in your mind as teenagers develop and mature at different rates.

As far as protecting him, if you really feel this girl is bad news then go with your instincts - as his parent you have the right to say no to things that concern you.

As a point of law - if he was coerced into sex with her she would be liable to be charged with stautory rape, as would he as they are both under 16.

I can understand you not wanting to be too strict, but remember you have a right to be a parent and to keep him safe.
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