Ask an expert
Question

08 Mar 2007

WHY DO MEN DO THIS??
Hi,

I've been with my boyfried for a while now and at the begining of the relationship he told me that he "needs alot of attention" and I gave him all the attention that he needed becuase he clearly had problems. When the problems became too much for both of us, he started seeing a shrink.

Now I'm 7 months pregnant and we finally worked out (with the help of his shrink) that he needs attention because his mother never gave him any (she admitted to this) but now he started questioning our relationship along the lines of:

You only with me for the sake of the child......

You going to leave me once the baby's born ....... etc, etc, etc.

can anyone tell me why some men do this???
Answer 333 views
Expert
Life Coach for Men

01 Jan 0001

Dear Mickey

I realise that one major issue is lack of attention, but I believe some others are somewhat evident from what you have said.

He fears abandonment and rejection. Based on his past, he has felt rejected and abandoned and he clearly expects you to do the same to him. "You will leave me once you...." can be replaced with "You will (like my mother) abandon me when you....".

He will (at an unconscious level) drive you to fulfil his expectations of abandonment. Sad, but true - so don't let him. Just say "I am here and I am going nowhere!".

His self esteem and self image are both battered and he has become the victim in your relationship and he expects you to be the persecutor. Ask him to stop saying what he is saying, and tell him (if it is true) that you love him and that you are not leaving now or in the future.

Tell me how it goes please.

Mike LAcey-Smith
Life Coach for MEn
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
32% - 9463 votes
No
68% - 20183 votes
Vote