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20 Jul 2006

PLEASE give me advice!
I am married for 25 years.My wife has a very low sexual drive.In the 25 years of marriage my wife initiated sexual intercourse maybe 5 times(even less!).As you realise 99.99% I do the initiation!
Their is no positive response from her side on my request(eg.I would like it etc)
I provide her and the daughters with the best when it comes to the home,food etc.
I am not overweight.I look after my appearance.
Few years ago we went to seek help(NG dominee) and he assured us that there is nothing wrong! I accepted and contiuned with my life.
To divorce is absolute the last option and to visit a prostitute is OUT OF THE QUESTION!
I am 50 and my wife 49.
My wife has a morning job.We don't have a helper at home so we all help with the tasks.At one time we had a helper.
Most of the times I alone relieve myself of my frustration!
PLEASE advice me what to do!
Answer 376 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear G-Pta
You should actually be talking to the sex expert on health 24 but from a medical point of view the reasons could be:
Medication - like anti-depressants
Psychiatric problems like anxiety and depression
Upbringing - she may feel that it is not "proper" for a woman to initiate sex or she may have had a very strict/puritan upbringing that downplayed the importance of sex.
Personal - she may feel unloved/unattractive - not necessarily your fault - or she may feel that her emotional needs or even sexual needs are not being met - do you know what they are? Maybe she does not overly like what you both are doing during sex.
Circumstances - tiredness, bored with the same routine, difference in sexual appetite - have you ever asked her how often she feels like sex? - if someone stuffs you with chocolate cake every day you won't feel like asking for it! Maybe she needs a day or two to work up a sexual appetite!
I would suggest that you two have a discussion - tell her about your needs and let her tell you about hers. Make "dates" for sex - it will give her time to "prepare" emotionally.
Whenever one of the partners in a marriage feels unloved and walks around with unmet needs, there are problems - see a sex therapist if needed.

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