Ask an expert

02 Feb 2009

I have so many problems in my life right now. I have a High Court child custody case hanging over my head. I am deep in debt because of the legal costs - I am hiding from banks. My medical aid decided to take away the clinical psychology benefit in 2009 when I need it the most. And then I find out that I am pregnant. And I am a Christian - my church doesn' t even allow masturbation, let alone sex outside marriage (which is rather hard at the age of 30).

My bf said he would support me whatever I decide, but his recommendation was to " flush it off my system" . He says it' s not even a baby yet - he calls it " a sperm in my tummy" .

It' s such a difficult decision to make. It' s a really early pregnancy - no organs have fromed yet at 3 weeks (I think) so it' s not really a person yet. On the other hand the moment fertilization takes place - God breathes life into that " thing" .

I am not going to kill myself - but I understand how people sometimes find suicide so apealing. When you run out of answers it helps to know that there will be no tomorrow to face.

I thought of adoption but then I will have to be pregnant for 9 months.

I know a pregnancy is just a temporary state that will pass (eventually) and an abortion is just so permanent, but it can save me so much embarassment of being pregnant out of wedlock while claiming to be Christian.
Answer 500 views

01 Jan 0001

I think its so sad that the SA constitution and government allow any medical aid to fail to provide psychiaric / psychological help to those who need it. Cyberdoc or gynaedoc may know, but I think there are numerous charities . NGO's, especially some based on religious concepts, which would offer free counselling to help you examine your alternatives here. This is not the place for a religious discussion or abortion issues --- but think about whether abortion is a justifiable proceduret to prevent Embarrassment ?
Pregnancy may be a temporary state for a woman, but birth ( and death ) is a permanent state for a child.
Can't any other readers provide RB with contact numbers for agencies providing free counselling in this situation ? I'm sure they exist
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
32% - 9464 votes
68% - 20197 votes