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14 Dec 2005

ABSENT MINDED HUSBAND
I recently married him knowing what I thought was absent minded BUT it goes far deeper than that. I have discovered that he doesn't seem to be able to reason about simple things. He is good if he is told something but he can't reason or think for himself. He has a degree. Is good at computers and software development but has no life skills or the ability to to comprehend. I thought it was because he has lived at home his whole life (he is 37) and his dad has made ALL his decisions his whole life. He has NEVER had conflict in his life or had to sort through a problem. Straight after we got married he wanted us to move back to his dad. He has lived in a gold fish bowl his whole life. For the 2 months of our marriage I thought he was always lying to me but have found out he can't reason and just says different things for questions asked. To me he is more like a 12 to 17 year old boy and not a man. He is a very dear sweet boy who is not able to cope with life skiils or married life. I tell him what to do, he does it. I think and reason for him. Other people, his few friends, think he is just quiet and absent minded. Being married to him, I think it goes deeper than that. Asperger Syndrome to some extent??
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You could be right, that having lived at home with such a decisive dad, he never needed to make lif decisions, and never got in enough practice to become good at it. He sounds immature, at least socially. Delene sounds right in her suggestions --- skiills can be learned, and he has shown a capacity for learning.
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