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05 Mar 2004

Abused
I have been sexually abused as a child.I'm married now but I still can't get over my fear of penetration during intimacy with my husband.He has been very patient with this problem of mine. Please advice?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Linky,
This is a very understandable problem, as long-standing fears and aversions can be related to abuse as a child. But the good news is that this is very highly treatable, very sucessfully. You should see a psychologist, who may also recommend a specific qualified specialist in sexual problems, who will certainly be able to help. This is one of many types of problems we humans experience where we have understandably learned a response which though it fitted the original traumatic situation, is not only no longer helpful, but actually causes problems in its own right. What one needs to do is to "unlearn" this now automatic response of fear at the prospect of penetration, and both to lose the fear, and to gain the usual pleasures that can be part of the process, so you can actively enjoy the loving sex you now have with your husband, and let the ugliness of what was forced on you all those years ago, fade into the distance, remembered, but no longer having the power to trouble you.
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