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18 Nov 2004

Abused by husband
I'm a professional woman in my late 40's, and my hybby is 59. This is my 2nd marriage. Although i work +- 12-15 hours p.d. i never ever miss Gym. I try my best to look good for my hubby. I wear sexy clothes and my make-up is done to the T. Sexually i am extremely hot and he knows that he can get it from me when ever he wants.

What i cannot understand is that when men look at me and give me a compliment, he will smile , but when we are alone, he will give me all the flack you wont believe. Then he wants to know where do i know them from and what connection do we have. If i wear more moderate clothes, he also freaks and wants to know if i'm on my way to church.

I try and give him the most awsome sex and when i do something new, he wants to know who taught me that. He loves long nails, so i made mine long for him. The other day a man complimented me and he forced me to go and take it off. I have a good pair of boobs--34 D --- and on weekends he does not want me to wear a bra, so i dont. He took me to a sports bar and some of the men kept on staring at my boobs ( i had a thin sexy T-shirt on he asked me to waer ) and he gave me all the shit in the car going back home.

I have to get out of this relationship, but as a Christian, i dont no how to or what to do.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Salo,
Sounds like an awfully insecure man, unappreciative and treating you badly. And it sounds like he has some odd, kinky ambivalence about on the one hand being excessively and inappropritely jealous, and on the other hand wanting you to display yourself so as to confirm for him that he has a woman atractive to other men.
What troubles me most about your message, though, is that it is all about you trying desperately to do what he wants and to please him, and nothing at all about him wanting to please you or showing any genuine love for you.
I know of nothing within Christianity that says you must stay in a loveless marriage. If he could accept that there are any problems at all, you two could try marriage counselling. Otherwise, why can't you leave him ?
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