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21 Nov 2005

Abusive ex - now I feel silly
Guys, need your help and encouragement. Divorced from the abusive ex but he persists in acting like a child. Fro swearing at me on Fri in the parking lot of my daughter's new school, to not answering my questions re. taking the kids, to ignoring me, to threatening not to take them to "try" and upset me, to getting his girlfriend to email me every other including, especially after I asked him to tell her to stop it. The threats and abusive are how I lived my marriage and what he does is have a go at you until you crumble, crack and falter, then he smiles. Then he goes onto to being "nice" so you feel silly having EVER thougt he's a pig. Well it has gotten out of hand and I have worked hard at putting my feelings and hurt aside for the kids, but I am tired of being abused. Fri was the last straw now I am supposed to mail my lawyer who wants to write a firm letter (which the ex will probably laugh at) and then only will we get an interdict. But now me being soft, feels shame, let's not complicate matters, let it go, it will be the last time. But it never is. Please help me write that email to the lawyer, I am tired of fighting so I back off, until next time.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi MRs E,
I think you may want to explore, with a good lawyer, and/or the advice of the folks at the Family Court, getting a court interdict to forbid him and his gf from harrassing or annoying you in any way. And if he makes problems about his access to the kids, he could potentially lose that access. The letter ma be intended as a preliminary meant to convinc the court that you have tried to handle this without an interdict, and thus to make it weasier for you to get an interdict. And if he breaks it, complain and have him sent to jail. Keep copies of his gf's emails, and anything else that confirms the ongoing harrassment. Do NOT forgive him or go soft on this --- get the interdict, keeping him and her away from you. Your marriage surely taught you that every time you back off, he'll do it again. Stop him this time.
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