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05 Apr 2006
I am so confused. I dont' know whether I am in an abusive relationship or if the problem is with me. My boyfriend and I live together. II have completely changed since I have been with him. It seems that every single argument we have is my fault, something I did wrong, I don't pay enough attention to him or I don't love him enough. At least once a week we fight about something or other. He is a different person amongst other people. I suspect that the relationship is abusive, but how do I know for sure.
It is never the case that when a couple argues, it is ALWAYS the fault of one of them. And if you are accused on not loving him enough or not paying him enough attention, then he sounds alarmingly needy or greedy and selfish, or both. This relationship sounds abusive in its impact on you, and that's what matters, not some external definition. If you think the relationship might be worth saving, and he can be persuaded, relationship counselling just might help. Otherwise, maybe give it up as unworkable, and move on
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