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16 Jul 2010

hi doc, i dont know how to handle this...i was unfaithful over 2 years ago. my partner does not know about it. i want to put it behind me, but dont now how. i am now accusing my partner of doing the same thing and yet my partner is innocent. i know what goes on at a workplace, it happened at my workplace, where opposites sexes are so friendly with one another, they end up going out together lunch times and during working hours, then they end up having affair, i witnessed it and is guilty of it too. my imagination is getting the better of me. whenever my partner comes home late or not at the work station i think the worst. however, my partner does have female friends at work, and i imagine they are doing the same thing. i have discussed it with my partner, telling my partner that close friends at work end up being lovers, i saw it happened at my workplace. my partner says i am being paranoid and i must not think what happened at my workkplace happens all over. it is affecting my relationship and i want to stop making accusations, but i just cannot because i am the guilty one. i have a wonderful partner and dont want to ruin our relationship because of my guilty conscious. please advise
Answer 432 views

01 Jan 0001

Well, you apparently at least have the sense to recognize that you are accusing your partner unfairly and unjustly. Individual counselling may be helpful to you, and marriage counselling for the pair of you. You seem to be over-generalizing - obviously affairs can and do occur between people who work together, but this is not as ommon as you seem to feel, and very large numbers of people work together, even lunch together, without even thinking of an affair.
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