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19 Feb 2004

Am addicted to alcohol and nicotine. Health failing fast. Depressed, on cipramil which I have stopped taking, and for the first time have had a menstrual period.....very pleased about that! Am studying at Honours level, and find the alcohol & studying don't do well together. Am desperate....have tried rehab etc....seem to be no answers except Valium for withdrawls, but is it an existential problem? Have huge anger within my soul...could that be a trigger or is it just an excuse.....Can one learn to drink one or two, and that's enough? Tired of hiding things....Suicidal at times, and self-harming .....sometimes don't think it's worth the fight...losing battle....Please help me with a soul answer......
Answer 485 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear Bea,
Valium is only temporarily helpful in terms of actually letting your brain get rid of the excessively sedating alcoholo without getting DTS and fits. Alcohol, as you've found, is damaging to your ability to study, remember, create, and produce. And it causes a depression, so you do need to get of and stay off it. It usually intereferes with the actions of antidepressants, so you may have received litle benefit from the cipramil if you were drinking at the time. Howwever, antidepressants in the package, can't cure anything. They do need to be taken properly.
Of course it is worth winning the struggle against your self-destructive ideas and the gloom that has been created in large part by the alcohol and related circumstances.
If you're drinking substantial amounts, you might need rehab simply to become chemically clear of the booze, but I am greatly annoyed by how many rehab programs refuse to do a proper job which must ALWAYS include continuing counselling to work on the deeper issues relating to your drinking.
You sound as if you could so greatly benefit from proper skilled counselling. Exisential issues are often highly significant in situations like this, and need to be addressed, to deseisitize the triggers. Alcohol is all too often used to blur the existential issues --- though it never helps to solve them, it may temporarily help to hide them from you ( which provides momentary comfort, but of course makes them harder to solve).
ANTIDOTE --- if you know of a helpful organization, name it here, and give it's contact numbers here --- don't hide it. Or are you still the sneaky scientologist-parasite, trawling for email addresses ?
bea, listen rather to Kassandra, who has been where you are, and has found that this is indeed a fruitful route away from the despair. You're worth it.
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