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27 Jan 2004

Adopted kids - rejects me after....
I adopted my wife's two kids while they where small. We had a child of our own afterwards. Our marriage lasted only 4 yrs. I moved out of town - battled with rejection etc. I kept in contact for a year with kids. Then one day they contacted me and said they want nothing to do with me. Now its been six months since I last heard from them. The one finished school the other still busy. They don't even want to talk to me, I don't understand what went wrong. We had a close relationship. Ex-wife and I had a argument just before this happened and I think something was said that brought the changes. I love them and know they are suffering financialy, they don't even want my financial support... Its killing me and the ex is play hardball. She doesn't want to tell me what was said. My little one is only 4yrs and doesn't know what is going on. She thinks her dad is just working away and will come back sometime. Is there anything more painful than kids turning their back on their parents.!!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear torn,
What is worst, is, in any circumstances, one bitter parent and Ex deliberately turing the kids against his/her Ex, and teaching them hate. You should check with the Family Court / Maintenance Courts, about your rights of access. Your right to access to your own biological child is entirely clear, and if you legally adopted the other two, you ought to have acess to them, too. Don't rush to provide financial help for the adopted two if tey're reluctant about it --- wait until they recognize that you care about them and are not whatever sort of monster your ex has told them you are.
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