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18 Apr 2006

Advice
A friend of mines husband committed suicide last week. He was having a number of affairs and it came out. She has a six month old baby girl.

I have tried to be a comfort. I just don't know what to say and how much to say. What is the best way to deal with this, do I get her to talk, do I give advice or do I just listen?
Answer 367 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

If you'd check the archives of this forum, we have often faced this dilemma of "what to say". As Pixie says, the primary gift you can give is to LISTEN. let her talk when she wants to, and allow her not to talk when she doesn't want to. There's not a lot of advice one can give that would be helpful in these early stages. If she can have access to a counsellor with experience in dealing with grief, that could help. You can reassure her IF she raises some common concerns -- discourage her from blaming herself, while acknowledging that it is normal to feel responsible and guilty even though she is neither ; encourage her to keep contact with her family and to acept their support, too.
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