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Question

10 Jan 2005

AFFAIR
I am in my twenties and have been seeing a married man in his forties for almost a year now.We have not had sexual intercourse yet as I am not ready. We dont see each other often.He has four children from two women, is married for the second time. I really like this man, he is very charming. Im not sure what to do because this is becoming a bit serious. I have been advised by close friends not to be with him but i cannot say no.What do I do?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

No, no and No. Drop him, and don't let this get any further --- you are wasting your time on an affair in which he is exploiting you. Of course he is charming, he's enjoying himself with you. But you must surely know that a man who has children by two other women abnd is cheating on them with you, WILL cheat on you, too. YOur friends are right, and you CAN say no. Just practice. What you mean is that you're having fun and don't want to say no. Say it, and get what you surely deserve --- a fresh relationship rather than a shop-sopiled second-hand affair, something that can be permanent, rather than something guaranteed to be temporary. You deserve more --- say no, and go out and get it
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