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All Mixed Up
Hi CS,
I hope you are well.
Of late I have been experiencing a huge change in my thinking. I have been questioning everything I have ever believed in. Everything I have ever thought to be the truth. From my beliefs to relationships, to my work. I am so confused. I don't even know how to properly put this into words. I have been thinking a lot lately about where I am, and what I am doing, and if its still working for me. I am so terrified that it isn't. One minute I will decide I no longer belive in xyz, and the next, I take it all back and don't want to let go of it.
I think I am going nuts, I have these long debates in my head all day, I literally argue with myself, I have different voices some things I think up really scare me. I don't know whats going on with me. I finally have everything I thought I ever wanted, my boyfriend, a beautifull home, my job etc. I just want to pack everything up and disapear somewhere where I don't know anyone, and no one knows me. Then the next, I cling to what I have with all i've got.
I guess I have just lost my faith in everything and everyone, how do I sort myself out? Whats going on with me? I thought only teenagers and middleaged men went through this...
I hope you are well.
Of late I have been experiencing a huge change in my thinking. I have been questioning everything I have ever believed in. Everything I have ever thought to be the truth. From my beliefs to relationships, to my work. I am so confused. I don't even know how to properly put this into words. I have been thinking a lot lately about where I am, and what I am doing, and if its still working for me. I am so terrified that it isn't. One minute I will decide I no longer belive in xyz, and the next, I take it all back and don't want to let go of it.
I think I am going nuts, I have these long debates in my head all day, I literally argue with myself, I have different voices some things I think up really scare me. I don't know whats going on with me. I finally have everything I thought I ever wanted, my boyfriend, a beautifull home, my job etc. I just want to pack everything up and disapear somewhere where I don't know anyone, and no one knows me. Then the next, I cling to what I have with all i've got.
I guess I have just lost my faith in everything and everyone, how do I sort myself out? Whats going on with me? I thought only teenagers and middleaged men went through this...
Sounds a bit obsessive. It's fine, in a leisurely way, to re-examine some of our beliefs, check them out, and appreciate why they are worth holding to or modifying. Maybe at the core of this, though, is a (temporary ) loss of faith in yourself ? See a counsellor and work on this. ANYONE, at ANY time is allowed to go through such a process --- and if you do it well, with a good guide, the results can be excellent, and worth the confusion that preceded the resolution.
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