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13 Jul 2005

Am i being unfair?????????????????
We got married on the November 2003 and been staying with in-laes ever since. But now i feel that i need my own house. His mother makes me so cross, we but groceries every month to the value of R1200 or more. What she does is that she takes the food we but and give it to her friends or neighbours and she always does this and my father inlaw even shouts at her sometimes when she does all that. Worse off all my son doesn't eve want to be next to her as he says she abuses him whwn we are not around and i have seen her doing funny things to her sister's young child and she has also moved away due to my mother inlaw treating her so badly. She tells me what to do for my husband and if i don't feel like going to church she ask me why noy and whwn ever i cannot attend teh services i have to answer to her, she does not give me my space as i am also someone's wife. Now i want to move out and my husband says if i cannot manage to stay with two elderly people how will i manage to stay with my neighbours, but he just does not get it that i am sick and tired of his mother and i can't stay in the backroom for ever i want my own space where i will be able to have my own rules.Am i asking for too much from my husband?? i just can't take it any more
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like there could be something seriously wrong with this peculiar woman. To give away to others the food you buy for the family, is foolish and rude ; maybe you should buy less of the food ? And if there is any suspicion that she might be abusing a child, this should be reported to the police / child welfare officials for proper investigation. Your husband's excuse for not moving out sounds feeble --- you're not having a problem living with two elderly people -- but with one elderly person who sounds nuts. This is no reason that you'd have any problem getting on with other neighbours. It's not in the least unreasonable of you to want a place of your own, and if you two could afford it, it would be unreasonable of your husband to move in that direction. Is he afreaid that your nutty mother-in-law might get into trouble if you weren't around ?
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