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09 Aug 2010

AM I BEING UNNECCESSARY
am pregnant with a guy who left me after finding out am carrying his baby, i was only six weeks old pregnant, am know 81/2 months. this it has''nt been a wonderful period of my life. I''ve been basicaly depressed for the whole period, but atlest im getting my groove back.

I have this friend who will always makes it her bussiness to find out staff about my ex, end report back to me, i have told her several times that im not interested in what that guy is up to.

this is one lady that knows excatly how much am hearting, but keeps on doing this since from the day i broke up of the relationship.

me and the ex are not on speaking terms, he doesnt even know when is my expected delivery date and i have made peace with that, and I strongly feel if we where to fix things for the sake of the baby, this will have to be initiated by one of us, not any of our friends.

by the way this is one person when i was still dating with my EX, he would always ask about her where abouts, they had some kind of a speceil relationship (wanted each other) I pretended as if i didn''t notice.

by the way this is my first child and am 30 years old, I have a good job and can take care of my own child,i don''t even need financial support from him.

Im intending to tell this lady precisley how I feel about this tomorrow againg. can someone please advise me on how to go about it.
Answer 380 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sorry to hear you met up with a guy who was much less than a man in facing his responsibilities.
This isn't an easy phase of life to face alone, and the hormonal shifts in pregnancy often disturb one's mood.
Its hard to figure out what this "friend" is doing, or how she can imagine she is helping ( maybe she doesn't ; maybe she has some other interest in disturbing you ? ) She sounds like someone who visits a person who has had an operation, fiddles with their bandages, and scrapes at the scabs, slowing down the healing of the wound.
Just tell her, very calmly but clearly, that youj cannot understand why she keeps telling you about your ex, as this obviously only upsets you - he has walked out on his responsibilities as a man and a father, and you are adjusting to this, but its made more difficult by her talking about a man you have moved on from.
Separately, though you may well be able to support your child on your own, one value in women going to court to get at least token maintenance, is to remind guys like that, that fathering children isn't something they should take so lightly
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