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15 Dec 2004

Am I being unreasonable??
I realise that it is difficult to comment on relationships because you dont really know the full story unless you are actually IN the relationship. But I need to get some sort of opinion on this because I have no one else to chat to, so here goes.

Recently I relocated from JHB to CPT and i moved in with my boyfriend here in CPT - he had already been in CPT for 6 months (we did the long distance thing). It was a very big step to take but I approached it maturely and I think I handled it well. Before the time I made sure that we discussed all of the angles as much as possible to make sure that there wasn't a big misunderstanding later on....stuff like cooking, cleaning, money etc etc.

Now that I am here and we have been living together for a few weeks I see that nothing is as we discussed. I do everything around the house. I also work 25km's from work and because of traffic I leave home at 6am and get home at 6pm; he is 2km's from work - and still I have to do everything. Not only am I expected to do everything, but he is putting so much pressure on me. I have only been here for a few weeks and he expects me to come home everyday in a fantastic mood. How can I when I sit in traffic for 2 hours everyday??? I am still adjusting to everything and he refuses to be patient and accepting of that. He simply adopts that I attititude that I am not trying hard enough.

But this is where the REAL problem comes in - I cannot talk to him about any of this. The minute I try to discuss this with him he gets angry and upset, and he accuses me of makes issues of everything. I honestly cannot even give him a side-ways glance without him thinking I am trying to start something negative again.

Is there any way around this??? How can I get my point across to him and make him understand where I am standing?

I love this man. I truly do. But I can't see this going anywhere if he won't listen to me, or at least just try to hear what I am saying. Is it me??? Am i being unreasonable?? Am I making issues of everything???

Completely confused,
Dizzy Des
Answer 459 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You are not being unreasonable, he is. Isn't he demonstrating vey clearly why you would NOT want to be in a long-term relationship with someone like him ?
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